Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I know her cup size but not her name....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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