I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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