they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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