You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
