I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
false alarm, still single
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
