we're blogging at a bar
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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