i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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