hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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