I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
