My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
