In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
