Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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