You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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