everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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