No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
