wakey wakey hands off snakey
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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