I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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