I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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