I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
