you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
