Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
