How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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