Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
