Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
