I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
