I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
