if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
