I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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