And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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