if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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