some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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