And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
