he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
