if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
