That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
