Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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