There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize