i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
