forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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