Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
