i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize