I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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