i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
