dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
