There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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