That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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