i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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