Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
