I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
