How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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