Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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