i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
