my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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