SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
