She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
