Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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