I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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