Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
