Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
