i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
