Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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