My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
