I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
