i just google imaged poop.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was like eating out sand paper
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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