If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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