he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
