i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
