you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize