You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize