i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
