her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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