Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
