We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
