yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
