You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize