Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Even my vagina gasped.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
