What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
