How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
