I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize