So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
there is glitter all over my balls
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
