He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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